Rome's To-Do List

Things I did not do while in Rome:

• Go to the Pantheon

• Go to the Coliseum

• Go to the Forum

• Stand in line to stick my hand in the Mouth of Truth

• Throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain, or even see it

• Visit a million churches

• Go anywhere near the Vatican

• Ride a tour bus

• Take a taxi

• Visit any museums

• Look at a map

Things I did while in Rome:

• Wandered aimlessly for hours

• Sat at a café in Trastevere drinking prosecco alone, watching people

• Ate some of my favorite foods, sometimes in unreal quantities

• Visited what is probably the creepiest crypt in existence

• Tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to hear the chanting monks

• Spent many nights out drinking with friends until 4am

• Met new friends

• Went to Mussolini’s EUR

• Walked around a couple of my favorite areas: Aventino and Jewish Ghetto

• Talked about people, politics, and why I can’t speak better Italian with a cabbie, while eating dinner alone

• Got lost

• Found my way

• Got lost

• Found my way

• Got lost

• Found my way

• Spent a Sunday biking on the cobblestones of via Appia Antica

• Broke the Rome dress code, daily, and didn’t care

• Told several smarmy middle-of-the-night pursuers to fuck off

• Lived in filth

• Observed

• Pondered

• Laughed

• Cried

• Tried and tried and tried to wipe the perma-grin off my face

• Loved to hate it

• LOVED. IT.